This topic contains 8 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by  swissgal 4 months, 1 week ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #4332

    ben
    Participant

    How best to make them work. My girl is moving back up north today and I’m staying in Hertfordshire for the time being, so give me all your best tips and hints please.

  • #4333

    oldguy
    Participant

    My daughter is in one, she visits every fourth week, he visits every fourth week but staggered so they see each other fortnighly

    Skype, messenger all work in the meantime.

  • #4334

    don
    Participant

    Hertfordshire to the north is no distance at all 🙂 We’ve done 3+ years across thousands of miles, a couple of continents, several war zones and with damn all communication – basically if you are both committed to it you will make it work

  • #4335

    em
    Participant

    I have to agree with @don If you are both committed to the relationship you will find a way to make it work for you. No-one can tell you how to run your relationship though. That’s up to the pair of you

  • #4336

    scats
    Participant

    Another veteran of long distance relationships here- if you want it to work, it will. The distance usually just highlights any doubts rather than being a barrier in its own right – so crack on and don’t worry!

  • #4337

    katy
    Participant

    ^ what they said…
    It takes a certain mindset, character, trust etc on both sides for it to work, but it can be done. Communication is important, but so is not reading too much into things. Messages can be misinterpreted, calls missed, and people with drama llama tendencies can find this difficult.

  • #4338

    scarymary
    Participant

    I did long distance, me in Spain, him in the UK, he came over every few months, we made it work by texts and lots of facetime (or skype) luckily we both work for ourselves so could call each other anytime. Evenings we would facetime, and if something was good on the TV, we would put the same channel on, I would turn my tv down and listen to his, ( ipad propped up on the end of my sofa) it made us feel together, we did it for 2 and a half years, then I moved back to the UK 18 months ago and we live together. You have to trust each other and put the effort in to make it work.

  • #4339

    kelly
    Participant

    Learn the art if letter writing. When in the early days of our relationship hubby and I were apart we found nice cards and wrote to each other 2 or 3 times I week (27 years later I still have those letters!) there is something very personal about a handwritten letter. Much more so than an email x

  • #4340

    swissgal
    Participant

    I’ve had two long distance relationships. The first didn’t work – he never made the effort, was always questioning what I was doing/who I was with. The second one is still going, but we live together now. That started off as being a few hours apart, to being on different hemispheres. Communication and trust are key. We used to chat on the phone nearly every day, or at least send voice messages on whatsapp. We also did postcards which I loved the most. Whenever I struggled or got worried, I just had to breathe and remind myself who is and what we’ve got. It’s hard, but as the above posters have said, if you’re in a secure relationship, it’ll work.

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